This time of year naturally brings reflection.  We think of the years past, what we miss, what we wish we had accomplished, and of course, all the things we feel we need to do differently in the next year. If you struggle with anxiety and/or depression, the discomfort of such a reflection can make things even worse. To soothe the discomfort, we make a list of all the ways we don’t add up and fail, disguised as a goal-oriented list of things to work toward for our betterment.  Then when we don’t meet the goals or we slip up and fall back into an old pattern, we prove ourselves right in our lack of ability.  There will always be something new that springs up to get in the way of our prescribed schedule.This year, I challenge you to stop the cycle and to try something new.  What if you lived every moment to be effective for what the situation calls for, instead of living in response to the demands and shoulds that we and others have placed on us? What if we gave ourselves the freedom to choose in every moment to look at what is in front of us and consider our long-term effectiveness and enjoyment, versus what we set forth for ourselves months ago, before we even knew what the year would bring?  Try it. You may be surprised.  You may just find that you are indeed perfectly capable to handle situations as they arise, and you just might stumble upon some joy in the mean time.