New Year New You?
Welp, we did it! We have officially survived the first month of 2022! Congratulations!
It seems that everyone puts such a strong focus on the beginning of the year. Set your new year’s resolutions, set goals for what you want in the new year, identify a word that you want to use throughout the next twelve months... and yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, it’s a new year. Yes, it will have its challenges. And in the same way that you were able to conquer the previous year, you can conquer this new year as well. After all, you’re already one month through – eleven to go!
At the end of each year and beginning of the new one, I find myself getting frustrated with the idea that we “HAVE TO” make changes for the new year. Can’t January be a month where we continue things we’ve done in previous months? Can’t January just be the first month of the new year? I’m pretty sure that’s a big enough spot for it as is. What if we make January just January… and February just February… and so on? How about we remove some of the pressure and set new goals, milestones, resolutions, words for when we’re ready and willing as opposed to when the calendar changes? Yes, it’s an easy place to start and yet it leaves a lot of pressure and a lot of shame when you don’t meet these perfected goals.
As we move into the Interpersonal Effectiveness module here at Peachtree DBT, I encourage us all to take some time to shift our focus off the “New Year New You” mentality to see how we’re taking care of ourselves and managing (and maintaining!) our own self-respect. If the past two years have taught us anything it’s to expect the unexpected… and can we do that while also ensuring we’re maintaining our own FAST Skills which focus on our self-respect?
Do a quick “scan” of yourself and your self-respect:
Be Fair: Are you being fair to yourself? Are you taking on too much? Taking on too little? Are you ensuring you’re providing time for yourself?
No Apologies: We only apologize when we’ve truly done something that goes against our values. Are you apologizing for things you’ve done wrong? Are you over apologizing? (Side note: stop apologizing for opening the door to the bathroom at the same time as someone else. Try “excuse me” instead.)
Stick to Your Values: This follows with being fair to yourself. Do things which help to maintain and strengthen your values. Are you aware of what your values are currently? Are there values you would like to work on? Are there values you’ve gotten away from?
Be Truthful: Be truthful to yourself and others. Ensure they hear your limits and when you can’t take on more, be truthful and tell them.
This is just a place to start. Something to get you thinking, maybe even doing some things a teeny tiny bit differently. Most importantly, start with YOU!
…and if you’re interested registration is open for Interpersonal Effectiveness! The module starts the week of February 14th and runs eight consecutive weeks through the first week of April. We’d love to have you!
