Reality vs Expectations
Welcome to the holiday season! Whatever your background, religion, ethnicity or culture – I am guessing the end of the year is loaded with lots of expectations. For some, you are picturing warming up next to a hot fire, surrounded by family, and celebrating in the bliss of another joyous year ending. For others, you are just happy to have survived, your main goal is to get through December without gaining the weight of a baby elephant, and you’re praying that if you must be surrounded by family, no one will bring up politics, gender, covid or the environment. For another population, the blanket of seasonal depression has slowly set it and you are in full acceptance mode that the black of night takes over at 3 pm and pajamas are the only suitable form of clothing. Ain’t December grand?!
Maybe you fit it to all three, you are happy to celebrate the end of the year, you hope something won’t go drastically sideways, and the cold weather blues are sneaking in. The question you may be asking is, “How are we going to get through it?” Answer- No idea.
Now I know what you’re thinking- “Who the hell is writing this blog and what is wrong with them?” You see, you came to this page expecting an answer. A brilliant answer. One that would change your life. Bring clarity and comfort. End world hunger. Well, maybe not the later, but you get the idea. You had an expectation. When we set our expectations, we are wishing, willing and shoulding over something we have little control over. A lot of times, we mismanage our expectations. We either hope for perfection or brace for catastrophe, rather than see things the way they are.
The distance between your reality and expectation may be one of the causes the end-of-year is so challenging. When we hope for a peaceful family meal and Uncle Ned shows up drunk, your kid won’t speak because they are angry you took their phone away at the dinner table, the chicken is dry, and the dog just puked on the rug… we are creating a space for sadness, anxiety, and anger to fill. Rather than allow that space, I want you to try this holiday season, to match your reality with your expectations. We have a pretty good idea of how things are going to turn out and we embrace in what IS not what isn’t. While it may not end world hunger, managing your expectations may provide a feeling of relief and calm. When things turn out less than ideal, we sigh with relief, not frustration. We expected this. We can handle this. We can enjoy this.
