Holiday Expectations
With the holidays quickly approaching, expectations and the pressure we all put on ourselves to “do it right” have been on my mind. Whether it's getting the perfect gift for a loved one or planning a get together with old friends, the holidays can be wrought with expectations. When we get caught up in what we think “should happen” we often set ourselves up for disappointment or frustration. Like last year when my in-laws' holiday family reunion (that my sweet mother in law spent weeks planning and days cooking for) was canceled due to my son’s 102 degree fever. That kind of thing.
I’ve set my intention for the holiday season this year to do my best to be more present and let go of unhelpful anxiety. I really want to soak up this time as opposed to “get through it” and there might be days where the best I can do is “get through it.” Below are some strategies for navigating the holidays with presence and self compassion.
Letting Go of Perfection:
One common source of holiday stress is the pursuit of a perfect holiday experience. Understand that perfection is an illusion, and the more we chase it, the more we're likely to set ourselves up for disappointment. Allow yourself to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on what truly matters to YOU.
Practicing Self-Compassion:
Self-compassion is a powerful tool to help you stay afloat, grounded, and maybe even thrive during challenging times. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer to a dear friend, younger sibling/family member, or the younger version of yourself. When you experience sadness, disappointment, or worry, acknowledge those feelings and offer yourself comfort…”anyone in my shoes would feel this way.” or “Of course this is coming up for me, this makes a lot of sense because…” Remember that you're not alone in your struggles. We are all navigating challenges, and acknowledging our shared humanity can create a sense of connection and empathy. Practice mindfulness by staying present in the moment with curiosity and without judgment. If you want to do a deeper dive into the concept of self compassion or ideas for how to cultivate it, check out Dr. Kristin Neff’s website.
