DBT Skills for the Holiday Season
As we participate in the holiday season, there are many joyful events and plans for each of us to navigate. Enjoying the holiday is not the case for everyone, and some might struggle more around this time. The holiday season can also bring up complicated feelings around grief and loss, or even discontentment that life is not as you hoped. This might be the first year of holidays without a loved one, maybe you hoped you would have different relationships than you do, or maybe this is the first year sober at the holidays.
We wanted to share a few coping strategies and skills for these situations. Here are a few ideas inspired by DBT Skills:
Identify and Describe Emotions - One of the things that helps regulate emotions is observing and describing the emotion. When we pinpoint what emotion is coming up and focus on the physical sensation in our body, that helps regulate the emotion. Emotions are often the most difficult part of going through a sad time.
Contribute - Find a way to help others. There are many ways you can do this by volunteering, helping plan holiday activities, supporting charities or families in need. Contributing is a great way to increase self-respect and connect with others.
Accumulate Positive Emotions - Plan and do activities that will increase positive emotions during the season. Do things you like to do or things you have enjoyed in the past. Accumulating positive emotions makes us less vulnerable to negative emotions and difficult events. Schedule these activities ahead of and after a time that might be difficult for you.
Cope Ahead - Have a plan for the days that might be the hardest for you. Think through what you will do, who can support you and what activities you can do to stay busy and out of your head.
Have a Backup Plan - If things don’t turn out as planned or hoped, what could you do instead? Reach out to someone or identify community resources that are open and available.
Limit Time on Social Media - Comparing what others post to how you feel or what you are doing is extremely harmful emotionally. Videos and pictures only show a part of the story. Don’t make assumptions about others' lives based on social media. Limit your time on these platforms.
Meaning - Choose a way to remember the past. Many families find it helpful to create new traditions or routines after losing a loved one. You could recycle an old tradition or do something completely new altogether. Having a new tradition or celebration to focus on helps balance out negative emotions.
